The Wonders of Brexit
The wonders of Brexit coming to a town near you.
After Brexit the United Kingdom is going to be amazing – every morning I’m going to wake up in my Union Jack jimmy-jams to the sound of a squadron of Spitfires racing overhead and leaving a trail of hot buttered crumpets behind them.
I’ll run to the corner shop past all the happy Scottish and English children who are laughing and squealing with excitement and delight as they make a beautiful statue of the Queen out of happy wriggling British Bulldog puppies – with two Corgis for her eyebrows!
Bunting flutters everywhere in the ‘gin clear’ blue sunny sky and the man from the betting shop steps into the street – “guess what! England just won the World Cup & The Ashes & The Queens’s horse the Grand National and here’s the best bit – Boris Johnson put a bet on it for everyone! we’re all MILLIONAIRES!!! hip hip Hurray! “
The Red Arrows and Lancaster bombers fly overhead dropping ‘fish and chips’ on tiny fluffy white parachutes along with lashings of ginger beer to the appreciative gathered crowds below; as I walk into the corner shop to get my morning paper full of good British news “Good morning, how much please?” I say to Mr. Mohammad’s son, “one penny Sir, everything in the whole shop now costs just one penny!” he laughs, “leave it on the counter, I’m off back to Pakistan – we all are!”
Gosh, he’s right! outside in the streets jolly old Nigel Farage is leading a huge crowd of happy smiley Johnny foreigners – Turks, Poles, Romanians, Syrians – there’s even a few English and Scottish people with heavy suntans mixed up in there! Nigel’s playing ‘Rule Britannia’ on a long pipe, rather like the pipe that takes the gas into your oven, and they’re all following and smiling and talking foreign, bless them!
Just then our exalted PM, Boris Johnson flies overhead in a Concorde made of Bank of England gold, powered by Scottish oil – “don’t worry!” he laughs “I’ve cut out all the bits the French, Spanish and Germans made!” and with that he crashes into the ground at 1200 mile/h.
Courtesy Dave Lewis from a post on our Facebook group.
